Courting, Dating, or Nah

A lot of people complain that dating in Atlanta is hard. I think that dating is hard, period, no matter where you live. A lot of guys simply do not know how to court a woman and a lot of women don’t know or require a man to court them properly. This leaves me to ask the question, is courting dead? Do we want to date or do we want jump straight into sex?

First, let’s explore what courtship entails.

  1. Courting One on One.
  2. Try courting one person at a time.
  3. Let the man lead the way.
  4. Ladies let him drive.
  5. Take it one base at a time.

Now let’s explore what dating entails:

  1. Dating is for sport so get more than one player involved.
  2. Dating should be with as many people as you can juggle without feeling overwhelmed. Dating is non-committal although if you date more than one person how can really connect emotionally to know if they are worth the commitment.
  3. Set clear boundary lines.
  4. Always make it clear where you stand and what you want. Never compromise on that. It would be nice if you two (or three) were on the same page but as we know this is not a perfect world.
  5. Move On or Move Out
  6. Once you have set boundaries you’ll know whether or not you two are moving in the same direction. If so proceed cautiously if not keep dating and have fun!

Now for both dating and courtship there are many differences. For example dating is a temporary place versus courtship being an actual relationship. When dating you maintain a single status until you decide to take it to the next level. The goals are different too when in courtship the goal is marriage and in dating the goal is getting to know you.  In dating your relationship is open to interpretation friends with benefits, just friends, or boyfriend-girlfriend. In courtship you become best friends because the goal again is a lifetime mate.

On many levels dating has took the shine off of courting and basically making it obsolete.  We need to stop rushing to the bedroom and try taking our time making it out the altar. That is why we have so many failed marriages we do not connect like we should. That is why it entails commitment before intimacy. No one is saying wait forever but really get to know a person don’t connect physically with someone you don’t know emotionally. When two people are intimate at least one if not both walk away connected. It is not as simple as a roll in the hay and then you dust yourself off.

Has dating taken away the shine of courtship? Would you like a courtship or do you prefer to date? Which do you practice? Share your thoughts below.

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